He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
Whoever said that a man can only cum up to 8 times a day is a fucking liar...or was never on adderall
oh my god i just remembered the cat blow jobs.
I think Memorial Day also marks the beginning of "Bikini Profile Picture" season.
You don't even know the meaning of faking an orgasm until you sleep with an uncircumcised ginger.
and then the entire party sang the national anthem a capella around the keg.
3 things I learned last night: 1.) I'm not as light as I used to be. 2.) Sex on the roof of a convertible is a really bad idea. 3.) The hospital now has super glue pens for sealing minor cuts instead of stitches!
I wish you could see how much hot sauce and broken glass are in our apartment right now.
You will never truly trust yourself until you have shaved your armpits, legs, and vagina in the dark.
The bartender charged us for drinks. Life is different.
There is not enough soap in the world to make me feel clean after last night. Im gonna need jesus for this one
Jesus Christ that hit just spoke to so many levels of my soul. It's caressing them softly
So we were in bed when his brother walks in, walks over to me, fist bumps me and says he just wanted to say hi, then leaves...so random lmao
I can count on one hand the number of good things that happened over the past year.
I don't remember anything beyond the drinking game but I woke up in my own pee this morning so I'm just gonna go out on a limb and say I overdid it.
Randomize