and next time when you feel me up, do it right
I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
You realize we can hear you jacking off in your room, right?
I like it rough
Is there any way you can check to see if I have a warrant out in Alabama?
First night in the new apartment. There are 12 people here i don't know, Tequila, and a crying girl locked in our bathroom. I think the apartment christening is complete.
APPARENTLY giving your friend one of your shoes so that you avoid the no shoes no service rule makes you drunk...
I really wanna punch him. Right in his cell-phone-sized penis
Apparently she was filling Miller Lite bottles with water because I refused to be seen drinking water in a bar
Woke up naked on my floor covered in cookies. We should celebrate fake hurricanes every weekend.
So... Sorry I threw that watermelon at you the other day. I didn't think it would break any bones.
Just make it a game! Like 20 questions STD style.
I rammed pretzels and Jell-O shots down the throats of those I loved.
her idea of a romantic time is a bottle of jager, some Guacamole and chips.
can't go wrong with guac.
He is farting the alphabet right now. In the goddamned restaurant. You don't get to recommend men anymore. Or restaurants for that matter.
dont know what thebfuxk is in rhat shit, but dont lemme have antmore
Randomize
