I feel like I bought a front row ticket to watch her screw up her life
My cousin had a baby so we have to look at it. Apparently the event is byob
I want you to come here and listen to her climax and then tell me how funny you think it is.
Hey on the reals though tomorrow if i take you out to lunch as just a friend will you also suck my cock as just a friend?
I let a guy with dreads drive my car, then demanded he take me back cause I don't let strangers drive my car, while repeatedly apologizing for being a cock block.
So my bf wanted to cum on my face and I let him. Afterwards I wiped some off, wiped it across his forehead and said, "The king has returned".
College: when you have to set an alarm to start drinking
We found him in the neighbors shed using a bicycle as a blanket. We just left him there.
I am sending my doctor an XXXMas card thanking him for my tits!
Dude. If I met a dinosaur right now. we'd totally be on the same page. Brainwaves and shit.
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
I can't hookup with a guy in my car because it smells like Taco Bell..
I mean, it was a fun hookup and he's cute and whatnot, but he wouldn't go down on me. Plus he's a republican. Idk why but those things feel like they go hand in hand.
He finger blasted me like an angel dude
Woke up with a lip tattoo that says "fake news" in case you're wondering about my wellbeing
Randomize
