take the plastic off of my new air freshener and i'm not going to eat you out for a month.
I never Thought the day id see a chick shove a 2liter up her vag. that happened last night
Pregaming for shuffle board at 10 AM. I love spring break.
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
She is singing the swedish chef song and throwing utensils. I love this place
He handled me like a finger puppet on crack... Time to ice the vagina, I'd like to sit down sometime today.
You're in a tuxedo, you can pee wherever you want.
Fyi your toilet is not contaminated. We'd have to scissor pretty hard to pass what I got.
Yea I've gotten enough hickeys in my life to know what I'd look like with a neck tattoo. I think I'm getting a neck tattoo.
DID YOU REALLY JUST GIVE ME A FIRST BASE SIGN
22 is way too old to still be having "thank god I think I'm getting my period" days
Why can't I come over and snuggle you and make you lick my boots
You know if we weren't hooking up I think we'd actually be friends
If I could figure out how to do him with his wranglers on you would never see me again.
i need to get drunk because i'm an angry sober
Randomize
