Hey, what are you up to?
Drinking wine with the guys and watching 7 Pounds.
Looking back I guess I could have changed that to beer and Die Hard.
Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
You were running around the house covered in syrup, with shredded down pillow feathers on your body screaming "AFLACK!" at everyone
WTF YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND?
Oh yeah that.
You stole her bday cake and shared it with drunk strangers on the street.
The only thing the cop asked me is..... "how are you still alive"?
he went to have surgery in the morning and apparently they found lip gloss on his dick
the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
he wears New Balance sneakers on a regular basis, did you really expect the sex to be more than decent?
I feel like you're gonna be reading this at 6 AM in a ditch or under a bridge, but please remember...I offered to drive you home. And you said no.
The sad thing is that it's 6:45 and you're not far off.
I'm pretty sure I just orgasmned my way out of paying for that weed
My Easter dress smells like alcohol, men, and bad decisions
I need more than 2 fuckable people this is an outrage
I may forget my underwear, but you can count on me for drugs and plan b
The dogs decided to play a new game called "Who Can Scream the Loudest?"
I won.
Randomize
