Have you learned any life lessons?
I like big butts and I cannot lie.
New high or new low? Cat walked into the bathroom while I was taking a #2, looked @ me, sneezed and walked out..
Why are we friends again?
I plan on using my big titties for evil tonight.
Apparently I masturbate in my sleep now.
his mom walked in while I was blowing him. he turned around in panic and accidentally punched me in the face. i have a black eye and only half the clothes i came here in. can you give me a ride?
I'm at breakfast at my kid's school and I have noted at least 3 other parents with last night's red wine mouth and bleary eyes. I don't know why I always get so paranoid.
Like I couldn't describe it to you but if they did a lineup of penises i'd be able to pick it out.
you're trying to get a guy who's been in a coma for 2 weeks and who thought he was in '08 yesterday to drive you to the liquor store?
yeah, you wanna come?
I've actually, minus lsat night have actually changed my drinking habits
The effect you have on my penis from a different state is impressive
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
with hottub sex, handcuffs, Pocahontas themed lap dances, and eating pumpkin pie off each other, I'm gonna say thanksgiving will be a success ;)
You can't just say you're dying of terminal cancer everytime they try to card you
my mom walked in on me eating her out, and i can never kiss my mother again.
he's figured out my code; what are you doing = I haven't found a better dick yet
Randomize
