Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
I'm a gentlemen, chivalry is what i do, i'll open the door, pull out your chair, buy your drinks, i'll even go down first, but when it comes to mario kart, i draw the line. I'm sorry but i just can't let you beat me at mario kart
it feels good to walk into a CVS and not go straight to the pharmacy counter for plan b. its been a while....
it'll be like the batcave but for manwhores
Bad news. Pictures just stimulated my memory and i just realized the stripper I hooked up with this weekend tasted like pizza.
The fact that when I blacked in you were sober enough to kick me out of your roommates bed makes me question our friendship.
the potatoes in the margarita machine wasn't the breaking point. its when he turned on the stove and put a bunch of bottle rockets on it that i knew the night had prematurely failed
You have to understand, he didn't so much come out of the closet as he backflipped out of it with an accompanying marching band.
My penis is saying yes, several less important organs are saying noo...
Feels like I ran a marathon last night. A tequila marathon.
It's not a walk of shame if you run
New rule. If he's too busy to put the "H" in "what" then I'm too busy to put his D in me.
Your youporn search history says otherwise.
Remember, I smoked so you wouldn't have to. I'm like the Jesus of Marijuana.
It's nice doing the walk of shame at 530 am, the birds are chirping, campus is empty, and it's dark so noone can see who the Fuck you are
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