Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
I making dinner, so you might want to actually come home tonight.
oh, you finally did the dishes then?
No, bought new ones.
He passed out while I was riding him, and just when I was about to call it quits he opens his eyes and squeezes my boobs and goes Honk! Honk!
My dick was out way too much saturday not to get laid
Yes, she gives me platonic blowjobs as part of our friendship.
My clit ring got caught in his beard. Never. Again.
I think I may have accidentally stepped in fire
Would it be weird to tell him that on his b'day he's dressing up and we're having weird Jesus sex?
Thanks for taking care of me. I hope I didn't pee in your car.
You know your acid trip is going well when the orange you're eating gives you a life lesson
I had to write an apology letter to my roomate for hotboxing in our bathroom. What a bitch.
I think we ended 5-7 relationships as well this weekend...so another good stat
Uh oh we had sex and I don't think I like him anymore help
A guy I hooked up with YEARS ago just endorsed me on LinkedIn for "customer service".
I’m not lawful evil! I do evil things because I want to, not because of the law
Randomize
