Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
for me the strap perfect is like a chastity belt
I want you to tape your fingers together and give me a lobster claw hand job.
Yeah I don't remember why I went to the hospital though but I just called and they have my wallet
What goes on in that head of yours?
Gay sex, for the most part. Why?
you left the hospital looking like the grudge, your mom and I were pushing you in a wheel chair and you yelled peace out fuckers.
I vaguely recall putting a toaster in the freezer.
I met my future husband in an elevator. Think Hispanic version of Dr. Bunsen Honeydew from the Muppets, but with eyes like Michael Fassbender.
I should never be allowed to dance around children at weddings. I think I just insured that a 4 year old will be a future teen mom.
Hey can you send me a copy of my mugshot? I need it to prove a point
You know you're drunk when you're apologizing for your asshole at 4am to the toilet. Eat shit habanero bbq sauce, you've ruined my life.
If I could steal your goatee and hide it under my bed to keep your from wearing it, I would.
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
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