It was like the Ritz Carlton of jails. I got introduced to our criminal system the right way.
she would only give me a road handjob because she didnt want to unbuckle
safety first
Her brother walked in on her giving me a bj and just laughed. I got a highfive before I left.
If it looks really sketchy and smells like burnt pizza and pot you're in the right place
3 for 3 on getting girls who say "yolo" at the bar to have anal. Not the motto I live by, but it has changed my life.
Erry day erry day!
NO. ANAL IS NOT A GAME.
I just watched my mom get dick on Skype.
That d should have definitely been an s.
He just walked in the house and decided to wake everyone up by yelling "I SHIT MYSELF!" We all thought he was joking....we were all wrong.
It can't be easy when an alcoholic Russian is screaming to the entire dorm "he no get hard"
COKE WAS NOT ON THE ITINERARY FOR TONIGHT.
FUCK YOU IM DRINKING WINE FROM A BOX
You okay there or need a ride? Maybe a straw for your box
Maybe a straw...
Accent: check. Hot body: check. 8" dick: check. Feeds me biscuits in bed after rampant sex: check. Should I continue with my "Why I'm not coming back to the States" List?
I also guarantee you multiple orgasams and blueberry pancakes
Am i obligated to tell my sister her girlfriend was my one night stand three months ago?
I should have robbed the cradle years ago. Turns out 21 year old boys can cum and still fuck me silly a minute later. My vagina feels like it just won a car from Oprah!
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