Update, blind date is cute and fun.
Scratch that, blind date just threw up.
Bt dubs, I still have cuts on my arm from when you attacked me with a dildo on Saturday night.
STOP fucking him and come play in the snow with us!
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
I will pray to the gods of eye bleach for you
The Angel on my shoulder is now resorting to merely reminding me that, "You will regret this later." I'm not sure if he's learning how I think or just giving up. Either way, should make life a bit more interesting.
I feel like he better crank it up to level RG IV tomorrow. It's the fucking playoffs.
We had sex on the beach. I was completely naked except for my sneakers. That's when you know
i think ive reached a prime reproductive point in my life or somethin- i see gingers and all i want to do is have their babies. like my body knows that i have a to carry on a legacy
Everyone called me "Barf Vader".. And I lost your lightsaber.
WHAT IS HAPPENING
A FLOCK OF DICKS IS MIGRATING TOWARDS US.
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
you're like an angel sent from heaven to guide my sex life into greatness
Thats so sweet
Just walked outside my house; realized I wasn't wearing any pants after about 3 minutes or so.
Drunk, high, hungover?
...I wish I had an excuse.
its 2pm and were already starting beer pong...its gonna be a good night
Randomize
