Firetruck pulls up, fireman jumps out n knocks on my door, asks "do you know where Johnny lives?"
is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
Just saw some guy walking down the street rapping about various types of pasta.
oh good. ive just found out that i went downstairs at 6 am still blacked out and had a 30 minute conversation with my mom about the different ways to feed our dog
I can't believe we just used the phrase "jizz to juice ratio" in casual conversation.
I woke up to you in just boxers at my door at 7a.m. with you saying how many squrriels you counted on the walk back, then you made me penis shaped pancakes
Well the good news is my "i'm an adult" dinner party went well, they all brought wine and complimented my cooking abilities. the bad news is i woke up with the leftovers in my bed/on my face
On a separate but also a very relevant note, can we practice drinking wine like real people?
You have to wear the princess leia gold bikini every Sunday
I think I threw my underwear away at What-A-Burger last night.
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
Btw there's a hedgehog in my room. Don't get it high
He responded to all of my texts prodding for dirty talk with "I will do anything you are comfortable with."\n\nChivalry is great, but being comfortable doesn't get me wet.
I'll explain later but I just had to legally commit to abstinence for the next 4 months
Hey. You got pizza and sex. How much more can you ask for?
Randomize
