I never want to see another naked old woman again.
I hope you get used to having plenty of sperm because you're never gonna get any.
She STILL went home with me even when I said yes when she asked if I had an infectious disease. Turns out she asked if I had an infectious spirit...well she has my infectious spirit now
winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
My sister came home, pulled two nalgene bottles of jaeger-bomb out of the fridge, changed out her 3 inch heels for 6 inch heels and left in under 3 minutes. I've never been more proud of her.
before we even ate breakfast we'd found an eighth of weed in some old purse she never uses. it was gone by lunch
She dresses cool and she's mean. And she has fake boobs I feel like I can relate to her on so many levels.
I did it on acid. I can cook bacon on any condition
I love getting kicked out of places. Its like winning a little league game
We hooked up last night. I think it was great for our friendship.
so go get some goddamn bacon and lay in his bed naked. he'll love it.
When my beach tent arrives , I strongly suggest quitting our jobs and becoming homeless beach drunks
How does it feel to date your dad?
The awkward moment when a lady ask you what kind of lipliner you're using, but really I have just finished eating hot cheetos.
I hope you know, that by sending me a cat meme back, you've entered in a cat picture battle; which never has an end in sight.
The duel has begun.
Randomize
