My Higher Power is John Stamos
time to smoke my breakfast
when she said she would show you her other bow, she ment she wanted you to bend her over and see the tattoo on her lower back you idiot
I am drunk as shit eating pancakes. I am not the person to call.
I just told someone i was in "addition and subtraction 160".......and they believed me.
I just fucked a rockette. This would have been amazing a week ago.
At least I wasn't still dressed as a bottle of dom perignon when they took me to the ER
She is feeding us popcorn out of her bra
Then she said I give the best mouth hugs and bar went silent.
Only I could go on a date with one guy, have a beer with a different guy and go home with the guy im trying to avoid. I have a talent or a problem.
Please tell your sister I apologize about saying her baby may have beef curtains. That was inappropriate.
I tried to text you about going to the Lion's Den but sent it to my boss. She was down for it. Please advise.
fucked him on the porch to avoid the chanting that always happens when we leave the bedroom. backfired when a group of freshman walked by and started screaming like fucking babies.
I need to get some goddam control over my hormones
Yep. Just fucked a 34 year old on the football field where we both went to high school. That's a story for the grandkids.
Randomize
