my sister just canceled her nose job because she thought it would hurt too much
It'll hurt less than being alone
i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk...
My mom just informed me that my dog licks their toes while her and my dad are having sex. I'm apartment searching.
you were smoking 3 cigarettes at once saying 'cancer isn't real! Its all in your head!'
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
Then he said something about how from that angle I looked just like his mom.
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
I had a face to face conversation with her vagina, asking it not to make me look bad.
At this point, just throw that mattresses away. Or bronze it and display it as a testament to your shame. either is good.
I know it was a good night because I got a lecture from my roommates mom about stranger danger
i don't think i have enough personality to make it through this date sober.
Who's the naked guy asleep in your car?
my roommate woke me up with head. more awkward than it sounds.
I gave her two orgasms and then we laid there and she ate jelly beans out of my belly button...that girls a keeper
he took a fucking pitcher of koolaid and vodka to the bath with him... i wake up from my blackout to his roomate screaming cause he spilled it and passed out in the middle of a blood red tub. she thought he killed himself. jesus christ its only the first day of break and i already regret coming home
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