Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
Ah, the precious few moments between when i wake up and when i realize why i'm sleeping on a treadmill.
Theres a dude at this concert at the urinal double fisting beers, taking drinks from both while simultaneously pissing euerywhere. He is my hero
he met me at the airport with a welcome home sign with a grilled cheese, PBR and a blow job on it. i missed america.
Her face was so far in my boobs, I didn't think she'd make it out. She took it like a man. She's a real trooper.
yeah, but the likliness of me finding my husband at a party where the facebook event is titled "NEW YEARS EVE SHIT SHOW" is highly unlikely
I actually don't know if I can stand up. I just know better than to try
I think that was him coming out to me. I just brushed it off
It's like bringing a chick home from the bar the night before and waking up to thinking you are about to go another round... Just to wake up and find she's already left...
They used the ice bucket from their room to drink beer from and called it the "Holy Grail"
Is it okay that we fucked on my car hood, in his driveway, at 4 am with cars passing by ?
I really need to get to the point where I can poop at his house. I’ve taken three shits on the way home already.
For some reason drunk me always leaves sober me a banana in the morning.
Can I come over and get it in, take a nap in ur bed, grab some poptarts and then leave?
You haven't lost that air of class about you...
You should probably come home from vacation now. I make badddd decisions when you're gone.
Randomize
