You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
Just did a walk of shame dressed as a cowgirl and walked past his ex's entire sorority. Yippee kye aye, motherfucker.
Could be my worst decision since the whole 'third degree burn' fiasco.
It's just my hair. It brings natural happiness. Like goldfish, big boobs, and milkshakes.
He ate me out while I was wearing a tiara.... I think I could get used to this
Intramural soccer game tonight. Be ready for blood. I haven't sobered up since thursday
I cannot even describe to you the most amazing ass I have ever had the pleasure of seeing walk up the stairs in front of me just now.
I just realized I haven't had a date or a potential possibility of a date in about a year. Then I realized I wanted to actually go on a date. But I'm sitting here getting high instead of being at a party. Life.
Well shit, I would've slept with him if I knew he was gonna be in the draft.
He used pronouns for his penis while sexting. I don't know what I did to deserve this.
I tried smoking while wearing a horse mask, it was the worst thing I've ever smelled
What, so now you are his nutritionist and his fuck buddy?
I just typed "I've got a friend" and my phone autocompletes to "that's a dick appointment". What is my life.
You made me promise I wouldnt let you play "fuck fuck goose" with a 40 year old ever again.
Randomize
