He kept starring at my ass and repeating "Its Just a beautiful piece of artwork."
i'm waiting for the less fat version of him to text me
Please come to History lecture. The kid two seats over is belligerently drunk.
She introduced herself and then asked "have you ever fucked a girl with a cast?"
There are some college kids out at 4 in the morning dragging each other on a sled behind a bike. its too entertaining to call the cops
If you stick your dick in my spaghetti, we're fighting.
I just want him to slap me with his dick and call it love
Why is the word 'best' written on my chest?!!
It was like good, clean fun, but with bodyshots.
We all make mistakes. Just lock them up deep down inside your mind so they can surface as weird sexual fantasies it takes your therapist years to decipher when your 40
He just showed up with a bottle of wild turkey a half a can of coke and some marshmallows yelling "gobble gobble bitches" my roommates hate my cousin
You went into the shower with my roommate and cursed him out asking why he was there
And he came all over himself. At least he didn't ruin my new lulus.
Actually though that could've been bad.
For the first time in my life, I may be the most normal person in the room.
Update: I am definitely the most normal person in this room. And the least tattooed.
I just hip-checked Santa and stole his cab.
Randomize
