I need to buy a mesh tank top to fit in in Florida. Where do they even sell that shit?
I overheard a kid saying to his mom at Walmart: "Mommy.. should we buy cups for daddy's spit?"
It was like what a highfive between zeus and Jesus would sound like
apparently he couldn't remember my name so he refereed to me as whats-her-boobs and everyone knew that it was me he was talking about
she kept calling me pablo. i just went with it.
Apparently 'she used to sleep with my brother' is not an acceptable answer to how do you know each other.
I'm sorry for throwing the cheese everywhere, but it wasn't my fault. No one was enforcing disipline so not really my fault for not behaving
Can we end it on a good note at least? Can we fuck and then never talk again?
He's the kind of drunk guy that would pee in your mouth while you give him head.
the fact that we had sex in the dining hall makes it seem so much more like home.
okay have fun. but Under NO circumstances ever attempt to outdrink the german exchange student. no matter how badly you want to blow him. just don't.
Confirm that you received these messages so that I know you feel the agony of my vagina. There is such a thing as "too many penises".
there's people who respect me enough not to bang on my bed and i think that's beautiful
Just had an oven catch fire while I was balls deep. Fire department came, I did not.
i can't hookup with him because someone else bit my vagina
Randomize
