Sorry I totally forgot to text you back. When you texted me I was at work at the pharmacy and it was stupid busy. And then of course I had my 8 hour "shoot me b/c half of Loyola comes in to buy plan B" shift.
the guy in front of me just bought a pound of bacon, a bouquet, and a case of budlight, i want to see THAT makeup sex
I really need to get laid. I'm telling at least 10 girls that I love them tonight.
Odds are at least 1 out of those 10 girls will be as crazy as you and will be into it.
good news. according to wikipedia, my blackout might just have been "post-trauma amnesia"
the bar tender told me i could keep an air matress in the backroom.
I need a leash, or some shame. Maybe.
he needs to stop knowing everyone on campus...it's making cheating on him really difficult.
These kids are nice. Shrooms make everything so nice.
All I know is I woke up with his business card in my bra and in my handwriting on the back it says 8 inch.
I'm pretty happy on the couch eating Popeyes and watching Cops so if I go over there you better have drugs left
I'm in the woods tripping balls the water is rising why don't you answer me
I'm literally in the bathroom for two minutes and I walk out to a random dude with his face in your tits
I just blew thrown up hashbrowns out my nose. That's the level of this hangover.
Omg my brain. Most recent thought: I fucking prayed in the bathroom that the other girl would leave. Prayed to Jesus
Let's get this straight. I am six fucking feet tall. Do you even understand how limited my options in guys to date are? No. Did you see my last three boyfriends? I looked like a fucking giant next to them. So I will fuck this six-foot-seven Italian model even if I am the ugliest girl at this party because, goddammit, I deserve to.
Randomize
