Why are you such a perv today?
This is a lot to handle
Oh shh
I'm kidding you prude take a joke
we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
I don't think I can fit "I'm sorry for ruining Christmas" on one cake. Better make two.
She wouldn't stop saying her own name. Like a damn pokemon.
Do you think my parents will accept my drinking habits more if I told them I like to drink every night because I take good shits the next morning?
We went to his house and he brought a jar of pickles to bed. I think im in love.
i watched you ride a mechanical penis. nothing is awkward between us anymore.
Fat girl left in a hurry. Possibly had to do with the missing bathroom door in my apartment.
I just want to do a slip-and-slide into a giant pool of jello shots right now.
I just closed two deals on my laptop from my bathroom while smoking a bowl, like a bawssss. Working from home is my favorite.
I was looking threw the photos on my phone. There is 8 different ones of us peeing on things.
My neck is PURPLE. This is NOT a good day to be indoctrinated by the cardinal...
i can't even hate his new girlfriend cuz she survived a fucking brain tumor. like that's just not fair.
Oh yeah, you are a real peach except for shitting uncontrollably and bleeding out of your face.
I’ve got a lot of questions but the first one has to be where you got the flame thrower.
Randomize
