remember when she hit me with her car by accident, well apparently it wasn't an accident.
I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
one day I'm really going to regret not using the boners I got in planes and cars
Ya know, years from now when that kid is old enough, I'll get to regale him with the story of how I was his father's AND uncle's first gay experience.
Never get a handjob from a girl who gives deep tissue massages.
Taped crackers to the wall. Sat I'n the dryer. Bobby had to pull me out by my hair. No more.
I remember pointing out how smooth my legs were to try to direct his attention away from my vagina.
It's like split custody, only he's not a kid and they have sex with him.
IT ISN'T. I'M A LITTLE HIGH.
YOU'RE ALWAYS A LITTLE HIGH.
NO. IT'S RARE THAT I'M A LITTLE HIGH. I'M ALWAYS HIGH AS FUCK. THERE'S A DIFFERENCE.
Good morning! So would you prefer me to show up kind of late or on time but looking like I got chewed up and spat out by an episode of Buffy the Vampire Slayer?
Our night has progressed to doing coke off a laundry machine through a parking ticket
I got a discount on the lube for giving the cashier focaccia bread from work.
i think i'm just going to start having sex with his brother, he's much hotter and it would definately be less illegal.
You kept crying and I couldnt help but laugh at you, I was really high though.
Clearly the Stanley Cup Finals good luck hand job IS necessary. You let the whole team down.
Randomize
