Sometimes I wonder if my friend studies mystic Christian theology because he's afraid to come out of the closet. Evidently, it's okay to talk about God coming inside you, but not to say the same about dudes.
I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
i will soon be in a relationship on fb
you!?
me and your mom. i mean, lisa.
my mom just informed me that i masturbate loudly
Dude. Muppets take manhattan on netflix instant. Pass my midterm or relive my childhood? Tough decision.
Just drive me around campus, I will be able to smell their innocence.
She apparently grabbed another girl and pulled her into the shower fully clothed. When the girl was like "you need to stop" she curled up into a ball and refused to leave.
Whoa, you know how to pick em.
You said that my dog would "complete your puzzle" then you got naked and took it behind the bar
So how do you explain to your boss that Siri called him mid sex?
I don't wanna shit myself again in 2015
Potholders are an underrated garment. Especially naked.
So, just how hungover are you?
Not at all, surprisingly.
That has to be your X-Men power.
FUCK YEAH PUPPY BOWL
Shotgunning beers in the shower. Mom would be proud.
I don't think he knows you can have sex sober...
Randomize
