no. i seriously look so gross with this sunburn. i wouldnt even wanna bang myself. and im really into myself.
i wanted a birthday blowjob. not a birthday VD.
is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
I have to verbally tell you. He looks good on paper...but he totally fails in person. Like communism.
The story about him having a girlfriend changed real fast when he found out that I was a gymnast
woke up with the bag of wine duct taped to my shoulder.
I'm fighting fire with fire. When my parents interrogate me about what I was doing last night, I tell them the truth. Every disgusting, awkward detail. I'm 23 now and they need to get used to it.
Happiness for him is a different happiness than you can supply cuz you have life standards, morals and goals that dont include the bar or beer everynight.
Come in your red robin gear. If you smell like French fries we can make love.
Shoot me. Oh my god shoot me. My moms ex "likes assholes"
I don't think that calm, have their shit together people actually exist.
I had no idea he had such passive aggressive animalistic tendencies. This is the human equivalent of peeing on someone.
Dude, I danced with Abe Lincoln! How could last night have been any better???
shit... I double booked my fuck buddies
I promise your sink was clogged before I threw up in it.
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