I love you!
You're insane
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
my 3 year old cousin just woke up screaming "IT WON'T GO DOWN!'
Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
They told me I stole 50 buns and a bottle of mayo and would whisper in their ears to look under my shirt to see what was for breakfast... benefit of starting to drink at 9 am
Ended the weekend putting away 30 nuggets. Training for 100.
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
Only thing worse than going to work with a hangover is going to work with a hangover then realizing that u don't have to work that day
You gave your boss a bj to get the safe employee of the month award?
My life has come to reading articles about dating an ex heroin addict. I'm doing well.
lesson learned. Never drop acid before a trip to the aquarium. Sounds awesome, is actually terrifying.
He overslept for our prescheduled morning sex. The fact that my vagina isn't enough to get him out of bed was the last straw.
Blacked out and Irish exited last night. At dinner. On a Sunday.
STOP BUYING ALADDIN PANTS WITH MY AMAZON CREDIT CARD
You don't get to call me bro after you've had your dick in me.
I’m at that point in my trip where I’m kinda hot, kinda cold and I have to remember to breathe.
Randomize
