I just saw the girl you left with - Chris Hansen's looking for you
Last night you told her she was rocking the beer gut. Still wondering why you have that black eye?
He woke up next to me, said I "wasn't naked enough" and fell back asleep. I proceeded to blow him.
Just thought i should tell someone im on the roof, if i pass out up here because no one found me, im behind the chimney
What's a quick way to get over an ex-boyfriend? To hear about how he threw up in a cup and then drank it. That's how.
Yes. I am getting trashed on an open tab while judging a karoke competition
Impressive. I approve.
but im not going to tell the owner of the penis of my dreams how to wear his hair.
Please do us both a favor and come rip my clothes off.
I don't remember... but puking on the bar sounds like me.
I found him in his pink and white boxer out side the dorm hall and the only thing he said was "it wouldn't let me in"
He got you flowers. How bad can the sex really be?
He had a hook in his ceiling. I think I'm in love!
you know its getting late when the "nevers" are turning into "maybe"
I hooked up with a sophomore, passed out at midnight, and apparently drunkenly peed on Nicole's wedding invitation
My sister can't give you a handjob and us still be bros.
Randomize
