I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
can u get pink eye on your cock?
she said if she won the lottery she'd fuck me... isn't that like government funded prostitution?
So I told her I dislocated my shoulder and she said "well okay. I can either be on top or blow you."
Decisions, decisions.
Your panties and toothbrush are in your mailbox. just not ready to be with anyone serious. take care.
I am going to borrow your water/shock proof video camera for St. Pattys day so that if wake up next to the highway again I know why.
Ok but I hold the right to any footage of you getting slapped, puking, anything with body shots, and allowed to make a montage of it to put on youtube.
The blackout version of me left a ransom note to the sober self. Somebody needs to control that guy
Woke up naked next to Alex and he was braiding my hair and then commented on how healthy my hair was. I don't even know anymore..
You gave me your shirt to use as a napkin every time I spilled beer on myself. Before we went to the bar.
Why do I have "apologize to Dave Coulier" written on my hand?
i would stab him if he didn't just tell me he is a priest
I've never had sex that lasts this long though. It's ridiculous. I feel like I need a Gatorade and a sweatband and a sub.
i think im in europe. pls send help
I just had a man tell me he was going to think about me when he was fucking his wife tonight. This is my proudest moment as a gay.
my night went from a boring school play to hotboxing a car with 3 criminals
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