Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
have you seen my purse? i cant find it and my ipod is in there and that shit totally cost more than my abortion.
You burnt your salmon and tried to mail it. Post marked to: Starving Kid in Africa
"Students using Axe body spray to light selves on fire" is a real headline from a real newspaper. WHY AREN'T WE DOING THIS RIGHT NOW?
We didn't have a blender so we made the margaritas by running over a garbagebag full of ice with the car and then stirring it with a knife in a French-press coffee pot. CAN YOU SAY RESOURCEFUL?
You gave me balls I gave you half a boob. Fair trade
Drinking vodka straight from my water bottle because of the debate. I just need to forget.
most desperate stoner moment might have been when we filled the bong up with pond water
desperate times, desperate measures
Using a miniature baseball bat to kill a mosquito in the house may not have been the most efficient or safest way, but that thing is fucking dead. However, so are three wine glasses, a lamp, and my baseball bat privileges. Worth it.
Did you put Dave Matthews band on the playlist? It's really hard to funnel when "Crash Into Me" kicks in.
Well shove his head down there and tell him not to stop til we have a new president!
If you keep giving me that glorious dick ill bake you some cookies
doc says my ankle might be broken, they're going to do xrays. He asked me what happened and I told him if he could find out that would be great.
Are you ok? Who pooped in my office?
I'm seriously considering starting a savings account so I'll have bail money this summer.
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