Now there's vomit covered trash all over the front lawn. I feel accomplished
She compares her life to Teen Mom. She's 28.
I came home to my brother stoned out of his mind. He got a high score on COD and asked me to have a celebration yogurt with him.
Pissed along side the highway while waving at all the traffic... if thats not a sign of a productive night to come then idk what is
and now i get to think about how i fulfill a gay man's harry potter fantasy. thanks for that
I literally farted midsex as a siren for him to get the fuck off me.. No such luck.
I'm pretty sure his cum gave me swimmer's ear.
Can we both just take a day off just to have sex? Is that acceptable as an adult?
I fell into the fireplace. That is a pretty good sign to stop drinking fireball
If anything I look like a soccor mom going out for her annual ladies night. Trying hard, but not quite in her twenty's anymore.
The sex was so good I feel like I could run a triathlon, hit big at the casino, and defeat ISIS.
when i woke up with 300+ messages I didn't except them to be about coyotes and burning shoes.
My mom just looked at me and said; "You've been pretty bitchy lately do you need some dick?" WTF has happened to me?
Sooooo drunk. We had the best sex ever and after he looked at me and said "That's whats up". I looked at him weird and he said "Young Jeezy would say it" and passed out on me naked. I think i might be in love
i woke up half naked on someone's pool lounge chair in a house that i don't know, with someone's phone number scrawled on my stomach. why do i hang out with you again??
You just listed two reasons.
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