Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
I just saw a guy give a mop to his fat wife and say "Look, an exercise stick!"
That chode just called off the engagement. I just dropped his toothbrush in the toilet. And I’ve forgotten to take my birth control for the past two weeks. He’s fucked!
My favorite part of the day is the 2 seconds of ignorance you have when you first wake up. Right before you remember where your mouth was last night.
i wish i could post a picture of his odd shaped penis on facebook and label it "wtf???"
Sooo sorry about that. And crying. And comparing my life to a duck
I just opened a gallon of milk that is good through the 10th of January- I hope I can say the same for myself.
just got my girl scout cookies. wanna get high?
you flashed the cab driver so we didn't have to pay the fare and then you decided you were on a roll so you flashed the guy at the maccas drive through... safe to say your boob job was the best idea ever!!
now you know why we've never bought a 12 pack of king cobras before.
As long as there aren't any pictures of me humping the penguin, we are good,
drunk old tina is grateful for 14 yr old tina for placing glow-in-the-dark stickers on my light switch...just avoided so many injuries
I decided not to eat, and then this man was my fairy " don't black out" godmother
I just had a very enlightening conversation with my hat. we need more of whatever the fuck that was.
Randomize
