Well douche your snatch and let's go!
If facebook stalking was a job I would totally pown it
he asked me if i had ever jacked off high and then referred to it as a "man-to-man question"
Dude, she uses Old Spice. It smelled like I was eating out my grandfather.
There is something about weddings and lines being done off my ass
in my defence, i did try to get you to put your shirt back on, then you screamed at me to stop telling you what to do
some asshole was waslkibg around with ab electric razor and shaving parts of peoples heads.
so apparently going to a christian rock concert dressed as Jesus is horribly inappropriate.
Speaking of testosterone. I saw a girl with a moustache thicker than one I can grow last night...
Dude, did you really "knight me" and tell me I had permission to bang your sister last night?
Let me tell you the story of bicurious george
sexting foreigners is the best. they respond with silly things like "love that tits"
I want a battle ostrich, get me a battle ostrich and then come and make love to me
My friends got engaged today and I learned the techniques of going upside down on a stripper pole. I'm not really sure who won...
It finally happened. Some guy just tried to catfish me with my own dick pic. Of course I told him that it was the hottest dick I'd ever seen and that I would do anything for that particular dick.
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