glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
We started making out, then he decided to get naked, put on a condom, and proceed to dry hump my leg, sweat pants and all, until he blew his load. I thought this was college. I immediatly left claiming I can't sleep in other people's rooms. He didn't even bother taking off my hoodie.
just watched paranormal activity stoned. laughed the whole time and screamed when they turned on the lights. eating doritos. I love my life
Before I left in the morning I deleted her purity ring app off her iPod, I figured it would save her the shame
My sink just fell out of the wall. I can't deal with this right now
Someone is gonna learn how to start an IV in the morning
I think u should go home and go to bed. If u get arrested in the Ohio river u go to jail in Kentucky. Nobody wants to go to jail in KY.
He broke hus nose arm jousting with the traffic cones... We need to make head shots illegal or get helmets or something
I had sex for the second time today and ate an entire bag of alligator jerky on the way home. These truly are the golden years.
Saying I've had more balls in my mouth than you is the last clear, coherent thing I remember.
Egg rolls and cum. Not my worst snack.
His dog ate the vibrator. The WHOLE vibrator. We spend the morning after trying to make it vomit up the battery. Why does this always happen to me?
I just want you to know you're the worst sister ever.
If this is about me and your ex, it's not my fault she doesn't like men.
Pinterest knows I’m getting divorced
Just letting you know that your little sister is now your eskimo brother. You can send a thank you edible arrangement to Tammy.
Randomize