When you wake up, I have rum and am in town
I wish that vaginas would just grow when you're ready for sex. Like when you dont need your vagina its not there, but when you need it...BAM its there. then no one would see it when you get drunk
yeah...or you could just stop doing cartwheels in skirts
im covered in puffy paint and glitter i cant find kevin and im wearing shoes that dont belong to me....come get me please
Don't worry we didnt bang. Sometimes I just bring guys home so I don't order pizza.
At victory brunch. Have a decent story. Im now eskimo brother with the duke mens basketball teams from 2002 to 2008 and obamas right hand man
but you must be fair and judge his penis by normal penis standards and not let your vision be clouded by the rare gem of a penis you have recently encountered
I heard liver failure is in for 2012 anyways
I felt that there wouldn't be enough planB and forgiveness to go around
How is your new roommate working out
We are drinking at the laundromat. And will probably have sex later. So...pretty good.
Getting free blow from a total stranger, who asked permission to stroke my eyebrows, was the highlight of my evening out. Also, I have a new cuddle dealer.
I woke up in a chipotle parking lot with an industrial sized box of condoms and a bag of dounut holes. I need Jesus
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
With gravity the way it is and your butt clearly being the size of a bus you'd break your hip or something
Finding my pants in the morning should not make me this proud
When they said they were gonna tattoo each other's gamer tags on their asses, I knew I no longer had a boyfriend.
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