The shirt is mine, the pants are mine, the bra not so much
my passenger side seat is covered in alcoholic jello with a nude mannequin in it
We all have a cross to bear. Yours just happens to be attracting gay men.
K. On the way. I need a drink.
Like a drink drink or like water?
Have we met?
i think you ate grass..but you refused to open your mouth so we could see..
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
This better be legit desert and not your penis alamode
cheese fries, coffee, with a side of dry heaving in the bathroom at the diner on campus at 5am. never felt better.
But first time having sex and he went down on me twice?! I'm gonna marry this guy
I'll make sure to include that in my bridesmaid toast
well this is gonna sound really bad but we were fooling around on sandra's electrical wheelchair
I need to pay that drinking in public ticket, but I also really want to get a spray tan next week... so priorities.
You ran into the tattoo shop screaming PIERCE MY TITIES
Just cropdusted a little kid that wouldn't get out of my way in Kroger. Welcome to the real world bitch.
And he put my hair in my clip while i blew him...and he did a good job
What are you gunna do with your life today
put it back together
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