the only thing i have to deal with now is the fact that i'm still wearing spandex shorts from last night
ok, she started talking about how she swears her step dad killed her mom. starting to back out of this one
...and all my boxers are outside in the snow because????
There is a contact in my phone named "Bar Mcntysu." this is why we need a third person to go out with us.
I'm in a pile of cheezits at an unfamiliar location watching dateline on tlc. Stage an intervention.
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
Just pulled a Kenny Powers on a snowmobile
I used to think not drinking while I was pregnant was not gonna be a problem, but I now I'm like shit that's a long time
I've realized that I'm going to have to wake and bake every morning to make it through the summer without killing someone. This is ridiculous.
Lesson learned. Don't roleplay with a real knife.
drying my bra with a hair dryer wasn't exactly how I had planned on starting my day.
Is it weird that the best sex I've ever had was to Barbara Streisand's Christmas album?
Blizzard, Hour 9: I'm 7 beers deep and have finished Ninja Turtles. I am listening to the NYPD and Nassau Fire Dept pipes and drums and writing new drum scores in my head, which I may or may not remember tomorrow
Why do I have a separate credit card just for booze? Because I saved enough points so Saturday we are flying to Denver to smoke legal weed and fly back in the same day.
Can't believe we're making vacation plans with the guy we had a threesome with
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