the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
hey bro how do you do that fake vagina thing with the tp roll? im bored.
you assured me you'd make it home safe because your pizza rolls were waiting up for you.
last thing I heard her say before I passed out was 'this is great. I never get to be the big spoon.'
Important life lesson - flammable and inflammable mean the same thing
God dammit, you have a cape and I don't even have a fucking jacket.
I just want you to know that i just realized your the only friend i dont feel fat around.
Well, at least he doesn't refer to you as his associate. his mattress associate
Bro, he broke his neck diving into a kiddy pool.
You know in a few years she's gonna look like her mom. So if you're gonna hit that you better do it while she still looks like somebody else.
She sprained her ankle last night trying to flash me.
And that was the night we had mind-blowing sex with the score from Raiders of the Lost Ark blaring on vinyl in the background...
My new favorite word is dickbag. I think its relevant here. And I say that with all the love in the world.
Randomize
