Can you tell me we didn't drink from a fish bowl we found in the bathroom last night? I know it would be a lie; I just need to hear it.
He's not so smart and obsessed with sex and lacks listening comprehension skills. I feel like i'm dating a sexually competent sesame street character.
and now i get to think about how i fulfill a gay man's harry potter fantasy. thanks for that
When I was leaving this morning he gave me some candy off his floor to prove he was a nice guy... He definitely knows the way to my heart. Best one night stand ever
I can measure my amount of vomit in solo cups.
I had 2 bags of iv saline fuilds for brunch and the buffet at the strip club for dinner. happy easter.
I jumped out of a moving car going sixty into my driveway because I had to shit so bad. It is not a good day today.
the good news is that even if it's Alex's, I can still say it's Colin's, because the kid will come out ginger anyway!
who knew there'd be a plus side to your ginger fetish one day?
Do you remember making out with the dude in the back of my cab last night?? You said his mustache tickled your tongue.
Had to leave my skype meeting to vomit. I'm obviously ready for the real world.
I'm more heavily invested in that tequila than you are
So is seeing the guy's penis that I'm talking to something you're into or nah?
Probably going to live on vodka sodas and fireball shots
Wine through a straw in a subway cup.....classy
My ex's sister asked me to be her date to Thanksgiving. Should I go?
Threesome!
Randomize
