Time to put an end to this 'unprotected sex with crazy girls who have violent exes' trip I've been on so far this summer
I can't go out tonight. I feel like I'm starting to party as much as Farrah on Teen Mom.
i've decided that sluts are like cars. they may look good as hell on the outside, but you never know what kind of shit is hiding under the hood.
I have only been in this city 3 nights and there are already 4 bars I can never go back to again.
I don't know if it was the room or her, but as soon as the pants came off, it smelt like a locker room and old man farts.
It would be one hovered percent delicioui
It's 2:30 on a Friday afternoon. It's snowing and must be about 20 degrees outside. I'm sitting in this class with 300 people using up every ounce of energy and willpower not to puke all over the girl in front of me. This has got to stop.
I don't think I even want to know why you are sending my husband pictures of your nutsack.
All hell broke loose. When the police showed up, this kid somehow haggled with a cop to let him pee in public. I'm convinced he could talk the panties off of a nun
I'm not a whore anymore. I gave up 90% of my women for you. I'm a 4-5 woman kind of guy now.
It's my birthday, if I want to stay home, get stoned and watch the gameshow network, that's what I'm going to do.
I was trying to type "I just want you naked" and it put "I just want you baked"
Of course his biggest mistake was assuming that I ever gave a fuck to begin with.
Guess who won a basket of sex toys in front of his parents, aunts, uncles, sister, and cousin...
Listen, yo... we need to have a serious conversation about this Dollar Store toilet paper. Because if I’m going to finger someone’s ass, it’s not going to be my own.
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