forget your mom, you can see her anytime. A one night stand only happens ONE night.
Threesome last night. Not that cool, you tend to pick a favorite.
so my dad walked in on us having sex
lulz really? why?
lets just say he wont be answering to 'daddy' for a loooooong time
For someone who "only drinks patron" your lack of pickiness with men alarms me
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
Do you think I could put your penis on reserve for tonight or tomorrow night?
You haven't had the true md experience until you've had your crotch grabbed by a drunk stripper with a snaggle tooth in front of your coworkers.
I think I'm interested in anyone that recognizes I actually have a pulse
I said you have to fuck the german guy and take one for the team...it's a once in a lifetime opportunity you know.
All I've succeeded in doing since I saw you is drool on my shoulder
I just ate beer and cupcakes for breakfast.... maybe this fourth of july won't be so bad
I've never been so excited to have my ass in so much pain.
Well, I can't remember Thursday and my left ass cheek hurts like hell, I'm guessing Mike's bachelor party was a success.
6 hours ago I jacked off a a guy for $100. I explained it away as "compensation" for gas and tolls. WHAT am I doing with my life? Quickest and easiest $100 I ever made though, haha
Let the healthy eats/juice cleanse begin. Today is day 1
Have you cleansed yourself of the boy yet?
Randomize
