He said he only talked to me because I talk dirty in bed.
shouldn't i get a discount if shes pregnant?
I just egged your windshield and it froze on contact. Have fun with that.
Who spends 33 dollars at Taco Bell and lives???
as my niece was drinking milk out of a crown royal glass i realized i dont think i've ever bought a glass that didnt come with a bottle of liquor....
the last thing i remember saying is "hope you like body hair"
He just sent me a winky face in the middle of setting up a drug deal. You don't do that.
Nope. Daytime is texting time. Night time is you send me naked pictures time.
IM A SHIT SUOW THE GUYS AT THE PMACR TOLD ME AJDBO I WEBF RO WALNARY WITH OU SHOES! I WASHT LLOWES FLOWERSA
it wasn't until he got that douchey haircut that i started regretting sleeping with him
hey fuckhead. when i said not to grow shrooms in our apartment, that didn't mean "yea, sure. grow shrooms in our apartment"
We can Fuck in the shower to save time
And this is why I like you. You're so damn innovative.
And then I woke you by humping you to Lionel Ritchie.
He goes "what would you say if I told you I like to get it in?" def a potential soulmate right there.
I don't like kids.
You were literally holding a baby 5 minutes ago
I like them before they learn to speak and after they learn to think.
Randomize
