yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
I feel like I got hit by a truck made out of Jack Daniels.
my life trainwreck boards at 9:30
you would think someone who fights for his country could fight to last longer than 2 minutes
Double fisting Gray Goose bottles. We've officially ruined her.
forgot a fork. i am eating fettucini alfredo with a comb that i rinsed off the the bathroom sink. eating alone in my car. life doesn't get any sadder than this
And by hung out you mean you were in my bed for 5 minutes while your penis was in my mouth.
Chasing shots with sriracha-covered mini toast was, in retrospect, not the best idea.
Oh and I guess I added our cab driver on Facebook. He has "liked" every single one of my beach pictures. Kill me now.
YOU GOT KINKY WEIRD ICE CREAM HEAD ON FRIDAY DONT EVEN COMPLAIN.
The sad thing is; I'm getting used to walking around feeling like I could hurl at any minute.
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
My philosophy professor just told the class that he is suspicious of dolphins. The stoner in front of me totally gets it. I need to start getting high for this class.
I cut myself stripping on your car. Probably a profession I shouldn't pursue
How do I un-spend everything I bought last night? Seriously...was a penis shaped piñata and enough tequila to fill my bathtub really that necessary?
At least you can say you've literally dumped money down the drain
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