Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
let's get her a shirt that says "i went to key west for spring break and all i got was this illegitimate child."
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
Birthday was great, I got entirely too drunk and made really poor life decisions. It was everything a birthday should be.
the only reason you beat me in fntsy this week is bc you wouldnt bail me outa jail in time to set my roster you dick
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
We have to have sex twice when i get back. I miss you sex, and thank god the nhl lockout is over sex. I will happily let you wear your sharks jersey during it and i will wear my ducks jersey, and it will be mad rivalry sex.
Just spread butter on my bathrobe. This has been an ace morning.
He was on my bed looking at me like a sacrifice to the gods of gay sex and he's definitely a bottom. Like Jesus Christ a really, really great ass of a bottom.
'TWAS BUT A GLORIOUS SIGHT. BITCHES.
And that kids is the last time I ever try to outdrink Germans
someone just got arrested on campus...
holy fuck look at all that cocaine
I WAS KIDDING ABOUT SLUTEMBER BUT ITS ACTUALLY HAPPENING
Just ordered a pregnancy test off amazon. Fuck 2019
Tbh I’m not a vibrator enthusiast
But I am godly
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