Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
honestly if we didnt hate the same people we would have a friendship based on nothing
We carried on a casual conversation about plants while I gave him a hand job.
remember.. you're not a homewrecker.. you're just creating options for him..
Wanna skype?
Can your lips gently and pleasantly suck on my balls via skype? If not, then no.
Until you find your self finger banging supergirl in the middle of the dance floor while her friends are passing around for luigi mustache for a photo op, YOU HAVE NOT HIT MY LEVEL
Nothing says "I mean business" like using a cart at the liquor store.
The weed is temporarily burning the grammar section of my brain library.
Opted for cash back rather than the 10% extra I'd get for store credit, solely for drinks tonight.
You're lovely.
I found us a new booze connection and I'm writing college admissions essays. The future is bright.
You said you were going to start drinking less. Drinking 25 small airplane bottle shots do not count.
Guys are like someone else's baby; i'll play with them but if responsibility is involved i'll hand them off.
I have to sleep with him. We're too much alike. It's like clash of the titans, except instead of clashing, he's putting it in me.
Sexting my TA in lecture = awesome
First night in my new place, I had to get drunk to get used to the idea of shitting in a new toilet
Randomize
