I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
We made a percocet pizza. And then i made an unfortunate decision.
My 10 year old brother handed me a pack of condoms and said "here, i don't wanna be an uncle yet."
i cant cry in cvs. not again.
yea, their son has been arrested on more than one occassion, their daughter is pregnant and their other daughter graduated but she was adopted, so clearly genes are everything.
2 out of 3 people here lost their shoes. America.
dude. this chick is staring at me like i gave her brother herpes.
Just so you know, this text is a buffer between the two guys I'm sexting. Can't get that shit messed up.
You told me to ditch them in the park, and when she jumped onto the car to stop us, you told me to scrape her off against a parked Jeep. That drunk.
I've made friends with the guy dressed as a gorilla that was chasing the guy dressed as a banana around with a super soaker full of vodka. I feel this will be a good relationship for me.
I just need a text that says "put that food down bitch" and then maybe I'll lose water weight through tears
I'm wearing a suit and have no chance of getting laid or robing a casino. I consider this opportunity a failure
I guess she fell asleep at the strip club and the other one was crying because she had a vagina in her face. Happy 21st!
CALL 911 HAND IS STUCK IN THE GARBAGE DISPOSAL. HELP
Do we still have any pizza left from last night?
Randomize
