Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
he started yelling "this is my pussy" mid thrust
Walking home still drunk in snow. Snowflakes are my only hydration..Need moreee
he put on The Eye of the Tiger while she was in labor.
Random girl at this party just gave me a lap dance in a la-Z-boy. Night significantly improved.
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
I can't believe you're asking me to think of a sincere, creative way to apologize to your penis at 2 am.
While eating post sex burritos I dripped taco bell sauce on my boob. He licked it off and asked why I hadn't thought of that before.
Uh yeah can we get an age of consent check on Dave's penis?
Age of consent, Dave's penis. Thank you...
I am sleeping in the bathtub because my bed is too soft.
So yeah he had good weed?
I'm in Home Depot and I can feel the straight bob the builders staring at me. I bet it's like I have a rainbow arrow pointing at me.
If I end up in the hospital remind me to order jimmy johns.
Why?
They deliver.
It was kind of like hidden Mickey ears, but with dicks.
We can have bacon on the roof while tanning
death, taxes, and me drunk texting you are 3 certainties in life
Randomize
