Whatever. I'm saving myself for my wedding night or a night with enough patron.
halloween is the only time that anne boleyn, the joker, a cowgirl, and a mexican man complete with sombrero and poncho can all hit the same blunt
Smoked a topless bowl this morning. For International Women's Day. Quite liberating.
My attempts to make you laugh have failed exceedingly. Naked snap chats it is
It was easier that asking where the vagina platter is.
Your level of morning after guilt is too much right now. Do less.
I just won 200$ from Bar Karaoke, for singing the "Sailor Moon" theme song, and then the Pokemon theme song, also known as the motherfucking ANTHEM OF POKEMON MASTERS LIKE ME. I HAD TO REPRESENT.
Got paid 100 bucks to babysit a kid for five hours while hungover. I slept the whole time and threw up twice. Yes 100 bucks.
I just ordered cookies for delivery. My life is falling apart.
I told him I wanted to get on him and ride him to Montana. It didnt end like i thought it would.
And don't worry, I have a great track record of rallying after a casual midday blackout.
I have to touch the horse lube. :-(
when you come over can you bring tequila and my birth control? Thanks girl!
I just bought two 8 Balls of Coke from the chick nurse that stitched my leg together in the ER after my bike accident last summer.
I’m a little confused...we were told by Cheeto Jesus and his minions multiple times that we would stop hearing about coronavirus the day after the election and, yet, I am still hearing about coronavirus. Is it possible they lied to us again?!?
Randomize
