ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
she's got a whisker from her dead cat taped to the wall. I'm pretty sure that about sums it up...
If the blowjob was before the wedding, we're not technically related, right?
It's just like riding a horse. A very tall, gay horse.
You're making her cookies in enchange for knitting lessons. You will die a virgin.
She just hopped out of the car at a red light to pet the baby Jesus in the nativity scene.
Not worth it.
It's raining beautiful colors and I don't know what the fuck is going on
Dave when you find that upper decker at your house its from me but its for Jill not you
Since you're going to wake up and see one bajillion missed calls from me, I just want you to know that's a perfectly reasonable number. Now come downystairs.
Making drunken Mac n cheese at 3 am I understand why witches constantly stir their cauldrons. Much more homogenized temperature and slim chance of boiling over. Good job witches.
It was fine until they started lighting shots of everclear on fire and making ME take them. That's when shit went down...
It takes a special kind of man to fart REALLY loudly right before entering a woman and still get some. This has been a state of bootytown address.
I'm afraid I might run into that fat chick that sucked on me in the hospital parking lot while her friend cried in the car next to us, but I may be willing to take that chance.
I wanted one last NYC adventure and I got it. Now I just have to figure out a polite way to wake up the pantless former stripper illegal Russian immigrant street violinist chick currently in a vodka coma in my bed.
He started talking about getting a puppy together. So of course I went down on him later
Randomize
