I might have to break the "you stay out of my sister and ill stay out of yours" pact that i have with tim
I'm more concerned with the fact that he was UNconcerned that live poultry could peck him in the nutsack @ any moment of sex
bark. im thoroughly looking forward to kegs and eggs. next weekend should be pancakes and pinnical, then cereal and seagrams and then whiskey and waffles.
Dude I am not desperate enough to pay my dealer in change. Maybe tomorrow.
And my only real exposure to Russian culture is you and Internet porn.
Considering the fact that everyone took the wrong jacket from that party, should we casually try to return the chalice and soccer ball we stole from last night?
I swear to god little potato creatures live inside Belvedere bottles and claw at your throat as you swallow shots.
Brightest idea yet: lets drink enough at ladies-drink-free nights to make up for the cost of tampons. Breaking even on having vaginas!
he just exposed your dildo usage to the table.
He tried to break dance on the island in the kitchen and ended up knocking over everyone's alcohol onto the floor then yelled "GUCCI" before vomiting
I just wanna get drunk and watch Tarzan with you is that to much to ask?!?
Hey, you know that marble art statue thing in your bedroom? Hypothetically what would happen if a penis got stuck in it?
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
just woke up and had to check if i still had pants on, i really need to stop drinking
Well when I woke up this morning I didn’t think I’d be masturbating to my own LinkedIn profile today but here we are
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