the next time i see a chick with leggings under her jean skirt...i'm gona beat her ass with a fashion magazine...
I've heard semen is good for your skin though, so that pimple on my chin should clear right up.
obviously you don't know the college version of myself. if there's something i'm ALWAYS willing to put up for it's alcohol.
I can hear the condescending tone from the atm when it asks if $3 is all I would like to deposit
why is it ever time u get laid i end up having to clean something twice? you have no idea how hard it is to wash smugged ass cheeks off the counter
there not mine if that helps
The spray paint was a bad idea, 'insert penis here' isn't coming off
Seriously. Texted me 4 times and that didn't wake me up so he nicely called and left a voicemail saying he WOULD call me 8 times. So when he called back I answered.
He's doing his thing where I don't know if he's alive until three in the afternoon so idk
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
ON A SIMILAR NOTE MY DICK SIZE PSYCHIC SKILLS ARE SO GOOD
I appreciate having someone to objectively critique my dick pics.
He sent me a dick pic, and it had smeared lipstick on it. So I sent him the pic of my tit with the hickey ring your brother gave me.
Did this whole conversation happen while you were shitting?
Fuck these bullshit days. My underwear are still inside out.
i found you passed out on the floor with a half-eaten pie. i figured youd be the last person to care if i went and banged your sister
Randomize