So... how did lowering your standards work out last night?
I don't think cute and don't forget to get tested belong in the same text
talk of her extensive whoreness has crossed oceans. thats impressive.
I just walked by a party bus on my way to study. God hates me.
Found trail of ibuprofen on ground. I'm like the intervention version of e.t.
He's telling everyone that the only reason he's at this party is to hook up with me. SOS HELP.
I CAME HOME WITH MY NIPPLES PEIRCED! WE WERE CAMPING. IN THE MOUNTIANS. I DONT EVEN REMEMBER IT AT ALL.
It doesn't matter how many beers you've had, it's unacceptable to piss in someone's helmet after a playoff win.
Paris has not been good for her. Everytime she has a one night stand from a different country, she buys a mini flag and tapes it to her wall with the others
That bottle of wine took a part of my soul with it.
she pretty much pinned my hand to her boob "on accident" for like 10 seconds before she moved. Waiting the rest of the night was just a formality.
Knows all the good gay bars AND has a dog? Wtf can't I drop pizza on guys like that????
I can't go to the bars anymore. She wanted to see me again and I drunkenly told her I was moving today. If she spots me I'm fucked.
I just want to order a very large pizza and get very drunk and very laid.
as a side note pls kill me
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