so either half this theatre is as stoned as me, or day daybreakers is hilarious
So this snow storm is NOT helpin my masturbation problem
Why do you keep getting laid in MY dreams
Dude's from Puerto Rico. Majoring in Spanish is like us majoring in drinking with a minor in watching Forgetting Sarah Marshall.
I got him a footlong to apologize for trying to push him off a balcony...
Haha I will however wear glass and and draw a lightning bolt scar if you want to have sex that way, and that can be the only time you can call me Harry.
just thought you should know it took me an hour and a half to make soup. I had to keep laying on my kitchen floor. being 21 is hard.
Everyone is drunk but me. Fantastic. Everyone is hooking up but me. Awkward.
I had a pitcher of margaritas. Now I'm in a laundry room being a 5th wheel and crying. I made myself a bed out of a pool floatie. I win.
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
To shove my foot up anybody ass who tries to start shit. I'm not takin shit this year. That and I wanna volunteer somewhere to help make a difference
Is there a tactful way to ask "how are your balls?" Or do I just ask point blank
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
My fart just smelled like the inside of white castle, I mean spot on, no difference whatsoever.
Sorry 4 always trying to rope you into my sexual exploits
I don't think getting eaten out in a smart car behind a circle-k on my break by a guy I just met classifies as social distancing, but I'm beginning to love night shift more and more.
Randomize