So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
get home. someone threw up in the fishtank last night.
Springtime is officially here. I just used pool water to fill up the bong
by the time the kitchen caught on fire everyone was too drunk to be alarmed. the host just poured beer on it to put it out. how was yours?
Well at least it wasn't the first time I threw up out of a second story window
Dude she gave you head while I was in the closet, we've passed the "awkward" phase.
He's acting like I should like him more than vodka and Taco Bell, but I just don't ser that happening.
I am almost positive I asked to milk her when I was saying my goodbyes.
You fed me pizza off a sword last night.
There's no discreet way to sneak a cucumber into the shower lol
I wish to strangle
whoa there darth vader
Me sprinting out of your house without my bra or shoes is our entire relationship defined in a single moment.
You don't know how small your school is until you know everyone in the ER on a Friday night.
He showed up to a booty call with 2 tea bags, but no condom...
Had a dream last night that we survived the apocalypse. And we celebrated Christmas.
What did I get you?
A 12 gauge and a bottle of vodka that was waist high.
Sounds about right
Randomize
