I'm at a work party and I don't know how to drink socially. You know, like slow?
So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
Yeah we had sex for the first time last night and all the text he sent me afterwards said was “heh”
Definitely got drunk and sent her a literal picture of my asshole. I titled it " you"
She's cheated on every boyfriend she's ever had with the same guy. She's like a slutty yo-yo.
After last night, I've decided I will now bang only men who professionally ride things for a living. I will accept jockeys, cowboys, bullriders, and pro bicyclists who lie and say they're bullriders.
And this is the part where I need you not to judge me. Remember that I have never seen a penis do that and that I have a weird sexual curiosity
It's like a toaster oven for my penis
His penis contains the glue that keeps this relationship together.
He balanced a treat on his nose, and then he rolled me a joint. My bf is the best pet ever.
Should I take a fireball shot or brush my teeth?
we had to follow your trail of clothes to find you.......
I don’t know what he is but he sure can suck a lollipop.
Like I'll lick your nuts to make you feel better if you don't get it
I may have made out with your roommate and your cousin tonight. In my defense I thought both of them were your cousin.
Randomize
