you left your dildo in my car
rules of finders keepers apply
i wish i could swallow nair and shit it out and it would get rid of all my ass hair.
We pinky-swore to never fuck each other again.
I briefly wondered why they weren't in school, but after the tinier one shouted "check out dem titties!" I had my answer
Trying to guess which perfume the stripper was wearing based on my bf's clothes
Change of plans. Theres a bouncy castle setup in my apartment complex.
sorry can't make it tonight, greg's getting back from italy. he's had two weeks of carbs and no gym; now's my chance to get myself a piece of that newly-fat, low self-esteemed ass.
i know it happened because it happened right beside me, and at one point on top of me.
I don't remember because I was drunk out of my mind, but I have it on good authority that weed cinnamon buns at 3 in the morning with chocolate milk are better than sex.
Cops are just so fun an beautifuk
Look at you go. You're like the Slutty Librarian that Could. They should write children's books about you. Children's books for adults.
Chili is not acceptable fuck buddy food.
Mom saw my dick pic over my gf's shoulder. She told her she really should've had me circumcised.
Was make out with a 38 year old lesbian on our bucket list? if it was you can go ahead and cross that one off.
just saw two mice fucking on our bed...i think its time to find a new place to live
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