Come back if u want to. I'll do some dirty shit to u mamacita.
ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
a girl just told me i should have been born earlier in the alphabet
Sunday was the 8 month anniversary when you shot me in the face...just an FYI.
New level of stoned. My Terry's Chocolate Orange didn't 'whack-and-unwrap' so I ate it like an apple.
Thats not how it works. You get the Rachel, and then Rachel kicks you out. Don't linger or try to cuddle, its just pathetic and makes me look down on you and your penis
I can't even tell you how many rave sticks I tore apart with my teeth last night.
its cute though when you google his name more than one mug shot comes up from different states
Sorry blacked out and lost my phone. Judging by the looks of my body I fought a cat and fell into a bush.
Sex in your truck helped me start regaining feeling in my jaw. Thanks!
I got very very very high last night and bought a cotton candy machine on eBay
you woke me up at 1am last night high on cough syrup to tell me jay z was an idiot for cheating on beyonce
I don’t have the time, patience, or blood alcohol level to deal with her.
just licked the cheese off a burger. that high.
My favourite part was when you contorted upside down in the tub and said "I don't want to be upside down"
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