i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
Maybe if you date her you can take a dump on her
they started playing Don't Stop Believin' and you had a melt down because it wasnt the Glee version
I've been drunk so often this summer being sober is exciting
I think hes settled down now. He's just licking the walls and the windows.
a girl just walked by me crying on the phone saying, "all I ever do is menstruate"
Since i didn't have a condom I told him to use jump ship method, I think I was overly invested in my sailor costume this year.
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
you asked my brother if you could eat the cupcake that you found. you were showing him a baked potato
New rule. No seeing movies about plane crashes after killer bong rips
I got to the party and found your shoes in a bag of Funyuns. You weren't even there.
I knew it was going to be good when he took off my bra and I only realized 5 minutes later
I woke up naked in this guys bed and the first thing I start saying is it's super bowl Sunday like I was yelling
So here I am, sexting at work.
try to milk me bitch
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