Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
I am going to invent a chocolate mix for sperm.
It was one time. Now I have to constantly remind her my name is Jessica not Jizzica.
She makes me want to have breakfast margaritas every day
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
The only good thing about this is that the pharmacy guy will stop trying to add me on Facebook.
Last night was the twilight zone. We hungout with our 45 year old future selves and tried to fuck everything with a dick. Lets move forward from this.
So getting drunk in honor of the bomb threat is legit right?
Saw you fall down on Jefferson and a cop drove by and shook his head. How you didnt get arrested after the party you went to on saturday is beyond me.
We weren't even through customs yet, and we got offered weed. You would love Jamaica.
This costume is too restrictive. The priest and I cannot get it on while I am wearing it.
Shirtless guy staggering down the sidewalk, puking into a Prada shopping bag. Ahhh, the walk of shame in Boystown.
Can we just cry and dive into a couch-sized bag of sadness-chips, dip them in a la-z-boy sized jar of depression salsa while watching a show called 'Forget Your Hopes and Dreams, Just Kill Yourself'?
I take it you're alive?
Mostly. Can't quite control my arms.
I think i got my first booty call. it was like she came to my house. sex. leave.
Congratulations. Welcome to the wonderful world of quick dirty secret sexy time.
thanks... i think. haha
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