Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
home. puking in laundry basket.
May or may not have just drunkenly opened my christmas presents. Greatly disappointed. Might break up sooner.
The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
I'm at the bar and they've turned up lady gaga to cover the sound of the fire alarm.
Yes, that was me on the jumbo tron. No, i don't know why i was hiding.
i'm soo broke, the only trip i can afford for spring break is acid
Everything was going great until my fake mustache fell off when we started making out.
You can wear my underwear. It'll be like old times.
The problem with that is that my car has been stolen
say penis size is all related to how funny you are and then tell a feminist joke. if she laughs, you got double points, if she slaps you, she probably wasn't going to sleep with you anyway
At this point I think you're just judging my taste in men
That falls under the "unwelcome penises" category. Also that's definitely a sentence I never thought I would say
How’s big weiner McGee?
I’m going to ask you one last time to call him Matt and he’s fine thank you very much
Randomize
