Sorry I totally forgot to text you back. When you texted me I was at work at the pharmacy and it was stupid busy. And then of course I had my 8 hour "shoot me b/c half of Loyola comes in to buy plan B" shift.
Hurry up. We're trading phones to prevent drunk texting.
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
My roomate asked me why she found condoms in the pringles container. I don't know what to tell her
I can hear her moaning. I'm on some random guy's counter. He wanted me to cuddle but I said I didn't know how.
Between the hair pulling and the choking its its more like combat than sex
Sorry I have an "Operation Iraqi Freedom" fantasy
ur not supposed to find someone to make out with when ur bf takes u to his SISTERS house to hang out with her and her husband
I was afraid someone would drug test my pants so you set them on fire.
He has blue eyes of sex and i am powerless against them
Doesn't tell me where my computer chair went but good to know
I think your husband is breaking up with me...
Please don't explain what tea bagging is to my mother.
That's it. I'm moving to LA & sitting on his face.
Hey, remember that time a week ago when we walk-of-shamed literally down the Vegas Strip at 8:45am and I had one broken heel?
Ill try not let guys feel my boobs for free drinks next time, no promises tho. I am my boyfriends worst nightmare.
LISTEN TO ME! DONDE ESTA LA FUCKING VICODIN!
Randomize
