i looked at dads computer and apparently he was looking at job ads on craigslist and the only one clicked that turned purple said "GET PAID TO MASTURBATE"
And as you crawled into the bathroom last night you repeatedly said "I know the routine".
Just got the American Express annual summary for 2009. The amount of bars we visited last year is impressive.
Come scavenge bits of tuna out of my chest hair
You just kept saying "I want my babies to look like you."
i must've hopped out the car and eaten some leaves...even when your'e drunk that's not acceptable
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
Woke up to the sound of my own moans coming from the tv....evidently it was videotaped.
That last minute feeling of hesitation on whether I should bring my health card to the bar usually means I'm in for a good night.
PS: I just woke up from my shower
I literally was just rolling on the ground and said to her 'this is what dying looks like'
Are you coming to class or was the dick pic this morning your way of saying not today?
I just said "you do you" to my penis.
Well I didn't spend $7 on an Uber just to get limp dick
Her blowjob technique? Picture someone attempting to drink a triple thick milkshake through a Capri Sun straw.
Randomize
